They're called Models for a Reason

Oh jesus -jesus christ just because you wear clothes does not make you an expert. Were not we all just soo charmed with Heidi Klum on Project Runway. her quirky humor and accent and odd German ways but this just goes to show you why there are designers and there are models and ne'er the two shall meet.

"The 2005 "Birkenstock styled by Heidi Klum" collection is more vibrant and sparkly than ever, complete with glittering effects, shimmering colors and striking wildlife motifs. These new styles are extremely well-made, based on original Birkenstock models, styled with a great deal of care and creativity, resulting in new styles that are both subtle and beguiling."

BIRKENSTOCKS!!!!!! by HEIDI KLUM??? can it be any more HORRIBLE???



I am not sure if it is the metallic gold that is subtle and the lil hearts are beguiling. Maybe it is gold = beguiling and hearts = subtle?? Would you say even $320 worth of subtle and beguiling shoe??? cuz that is what they are asking for these. As if you couldnt just buy a pair off of QVC and spray paint them (oh god did i actually just encorage home-glamourizing birkenstocks? ohgawd!)



Can you IMAGINE the look on the other middle-aged women's faces when you strut into the local pool this summer in your sassy skirted print swimsuit and these sparkly bits of whimsy on your feet?? Who cares if the kids are little shits failing out of elementary school and your husband has a yen for the new lawnboy. There will be RHINESTONES on your SHOES! FANTABULOUS! Don't forget your straw hat with ribbon-you can't really afford MORE wrinkles now can you???



"A lace-up half boot with striking animal motifs. This canvas boot is a sure eye catcher. Wear this shoe with bootleg flipped up or folded down." que versatile!

$600. $600 for a pair of converse your preschooler would want. SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! WTF!!!
If you are up for more punishment the entire collection can be seen HERE.
I can hardly wait until the 2006 line.
Seriously do we need more proof that Heidi wouldnt be able to cut it on her own show?? Imagine what the TIM GUNN would say???