Keep your Front Bumpers to Yourself

Headed to Downtown Palo Alto for lunch and after cruising down the traffic mobbed University street, I was thrilled to turn a corner and BAM pullin parallel parking! what LUCK i thought no reversing and angling crap and even better i can make a speedy get-away should the batsignal go off. with high spirits i was off to lunch.
(flash forward an hour)

As i am prancing back to my car after the best meal ever (author reserves the right for literary exaggeration), I happen to notice that there is a car behind mine now. A car where there isnt even a spot technically. And as i walk around to the driver side i can help but not "gosh they are awfully close to me" and as i take the 5 steps to the back of my car these thoughts have become more aggresive more like "Fucker is TOUCHING MY CAR!!!"

With my temper brewing i walk over to the light blue car molesting my sweet ride and ball my hand into a fist (in my head i smashed it through the window) put i rapped to get the old white guy's attention.

Old white guy "Drrrr"
ME: "Hey that's my car." pointing at my car
OWG: "Drrrrr"
ME: "I have to get out"
OWG:"Drrrr... You want me to back up my car?? Drrrrr"
ME: "Yeah that would be nice since you are smack against it"
OWG: "Drrr drrrr drrrr "

HATE fuckin people who park wherever and wont even apologize for being buttholes.
Will be giving all old white men i see driving pastel cars the evil eye from now on.