Please Mr Mailman

Is there nothing more exciting and mysterious than trying to figure out how you got on a mailing list for a certain catalog? I was especially perplexed (and by that i mean disgusted enough to call up Custmoer Service to have my name removed) by the appearance of the Playboy catalog with the correct spelling of my name in my mail. At times like this we rage and fume about the destruction of trees and waste that unwanted Junk Mail is. However there are other times, times when a new catelog is the fountain of light and joy and polyester blend goodness we have been searching for in all our malls. I was treated with the gift from the gods that is the PREMIERE issue of Midnight Velvet catalog. and the icing on the cake: They have a website. SO sit back and enjoy the Midnight Velvet "Fashion" show. . . .



Does this jacket make me look old? and wrinkly? and washed up like a housewife dropped for a stripper by her rich executive husband? But i dont understand DIDN'T you See that i MATCHED the lining to my shirt??? that's hip and flattering isn't it? ISNT IT??? Well. . . okay. . . But what about my sassy feathered hat???



Isnt it just sad when grown woman are still rumaging around in there grandmothers old clothes to play dress-up??? Actually it looks like she pulled some old curtains from the linen closet and threw them on and said "isnt this drapery effect JUST DARLING!!???". How Scarlet O' Hara of her.


Having never attended etiquette school i am not really sure of the course subjects there but if i was a teacher I would totally give this woman an "A+" in ensamble-ry! The hat, The purse, the jacket, corporate mad hatter at its finest.



Must . . Suck. . .It . . IN. Will never get Julio the poolboy if he sees love handles. Now turn and look svelte you porker. Illicit affairs are work dammit!


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