Is there a Doctor in the House?

A one of the great perks of permanent employment-HMO care!! Armed with my directory of Primary health care providers (fancy name for fancy health care), I leaped onto yahoo to find a doctor somewhere between work and home for convenience sake. Imagine my joy when one of the participating places was right next to my favorite mall. Convenience and consumerism that is the prescription for Laura happiness. Not to be satisfied with a name out of a book, I started googling doctor names. For their credentials? No! For their background? No! For their field of expertise? Hell no!! For their picture goddammit. I don't want some scary old person. Really do I need another reason to go years without a physical? I think I got the wrong book- every one I have hunted down has caused nausea, sweating, clammy hands and a piercing pain in my temples. So far my search for someone who speaks english, has a degree from somewhere within the US and appropriately non-frightening photo is hopelessly fruitless. So here is to my health because I cannot survive having to be sick right now.