Always Have ONE Thing

In an effort to find another way to judge my self worth, i have installed a hit counter on this blog. I realize that at least a third of the total will just be me checking that everything looks copasetic. I also am aware that this may be a bigger disaster than my adsense experiment but I DO NOT FEAR FAILURE!!! Because i know the secret to inner conidence-guru Jonathan has taught me all i need to know to get by when all the shit is stressing you out and no one has your back and your success and reputation are on the line:
Step 1: Just grab a mirror
Step 2: Gaze at your beautiful reflection of perfect face and excellent hair
Step 3: With conviction say " I always have this. No matter what!" (repeat if needed)
Step 4: Feel inner peace and cinfidence wash over self.