I need a nap. .

only took me two days to get out of the habit of waking up at 7 and i am paying for it today. Been playing Civilizations on my comp til the wee hours fo the morn just like a college kid. If it wasnt for my new blue cult jeans i dont think i would have made it out of bed this morning. The population at Sun has fluctuated wildly from 4 cars when i pulled up this morning to a whopping 10 by the time i got back from lunch. Since it is really hard to type while yawning, this is all you get for the day. i will be back to my normal work schedule on Monday so until then --Have a safe and vomit-free Happy New Years!

Holiday Sweater TIME! ROCK ON ROCK ON!

On the first day of christmas my co-workers gave to me
1 Santa on a coffee mug
On the second day of Christmas my co-workers gave to me
2 awesome turtlenecks
On the third day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
3 itchy wool holiday sweaters
On the Fourth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
4 office party invites
On the Fifth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
5 days OFF
On the Sixth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
6 boxes of See's
On the Seventh day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
7 generic e cards
On the eighth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
8 funny Santa joke forwards
On the Ninth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
9 stale sugar cookies
On the Tenth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
10 pints of eggnog
On the Eleventh day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
11 dollar store items
On the twelfth day of xmas my co-workers gave to me
12 reason to find a new job

Merry Christmas everyone
I wont be back to work until Thurs so until then enjoy the links list on my 100 things about me page and have a happy and safe holiday wherever you are!

Run-A-way EVIL

christ he looks like the monster that is controlling his craziness is about to jump out of his head and rip heidi klum's seal baby out to eat it! Such prima donna pansy! agruing with judges, ratting out team mates and making the most hideaous collection of lingerie ever. Why santino you must just be exhausted after such a busy day! Kinda glad that daniel got the boot-he was acting like SUCH a kiss ass to everyone-WHAT A FRONT! no big loss! i think this team challenge was a lil premature-def needed at least 2 more challenges to get rid of the dead weight of Marla. Ugh i am tired of looking at her all ready! If you are still hunting for that last minute gift-you can bid on the winning set by daniel V. not that you know anyone who can squeeze into size model Rebecca (so nice of them to not include measurements)-you have until jan 4 to try and win a pair of cuffs to sex up any outfit! And if you are LUCKY enough to live in New York you can bust on over to the Banana republic there and view all the winning outfits- bet that beats the Macys holiday windows any day!

ruffle crotch

why you gots to hate the women'z bodies santino??? I totally agree with Nina -Just not aethestically pleasing at all!!! see what you have driven me to santino??? agreeing with NINA!!! madness!

Lumps of Coal

All right Crew
Merry freakin Christmas
I have labored for over a week on gathering these but here's you shitily wrapped gift. The latest entry on the 100 things about me site(look to the right side!) -100 links (blogs, games, homemade movies, pics, funny shit and odd merchandise) for you to enjoy while hopped up on egg nog and tinsel. I spent at least 30 seconds on each site and each one met the intense strict guideline of amusing me for at least 24 of those 30 seconds.
Each one is linked so just click on it-if that doesnt work then before you start whining like a brat withou batteries for their remote control hummer -try typing the damn url. If that doesnt work -neener neener neener i dont care.

Reason for the Season

Oxy Moron

Do i loves the cheetos?? You know i do! Do i lurve the chapstick??? like crack! Usually the melding of two favorite things brings even greater joy (like coffee ice cream or scratch n sniff stickers) however i think this item is missing the mark. It doesnt even have the true kitsch appeal like a boxing nun does. The hybrid of these two has become the uncool mutant beast that will be dropped by any comic book editor sine it will abort itself in the womb since it cannot sustain itself in nature. Ugly but true.

TGIF

oh thank gawd
Has been a trial of a week but it is on its last legs.
Saturday is a lil celebration for Carols Bday at the DIVE bar in SJ-cant wait to see her and all her friends ripped out drunk.
I have been hard at work on a xmas present for all of you readers-hope you like it/i get it done by xmas.
Since i needed to or suffer here is another installment of fashion friday-BON APETITE!

Euro trash

100% polyester = 100% PARTYTIME!! all ready wrinkled so who cares if you pass out on a couch, street gutter or overweight man missing teeth. The array of pattern in various sizes and colors will easily camoflauge any color alcohol/dinner that you puke up at 3 in the morning. To go with the drunk bravado the strategic green strip down the front is an excellant guide to your crotch! (no time to be subtle on a Saturday night) The only drawback for paying $49 for this top is wishing it had just 3-4 more inches so when you "loss" your pants sometime during the night it could double as a dress.

She's done it again

I know this is just shooting fish in a barrel, but i have become addicted to checking out the latest J Lo fashion. You would think that for someone in such a strasosphere of divaness she would hesistate to plaster her name on the item but it is there on the label, the zipper pulls, the lining (but notably absent from the J Lo herself hmmmm). I just love the combination of dated trends-velour (come on all ready), bows (so you know it is for a girl and not a gay man), off-the shoulder (the perfect jacket for all those muu muus you have) and the ultimate fossil of fashion a matching pantsuit (has j lo tapped into the real market for her clothes -middle aged woman who shop in the juniors dept???) I am a litle upset i am forced to show this in purple but the details just dont show up as well with the black one.

studly terry cloth

I am weak from laughing so hard at this so i will let the Zappos description speak for me:
A hip and trendy mule.
Terry lined footbed for lasting comfort.

Metal stud detail around toe for extra style

Rubber grip bottom.
Funky wooden wedge heel completes this great look.
Not sure what some of the above words mean? Look it up in our online glossary!
*** even zappos was too embarrassed to mention the peep-toe!!!****

diaper bag

I have had this bookmarked for a while and have been waiting for the opertune moment to spring it on all of you. It just amazes me the skill required to take a simple concept of a white skirt and without any cloth pattern, embelishment or couture ambitions, fuck it up so very very badly. The length, the fit, the drape of the cloth-ALL so intentionally put together for maximum hideousness. I just would sit and stare and this thing and as the pics on the site twirl from angle to angle find more and more wrong with it. It should be called waterlogged Depends Skirt. Since i am rather unfamiliar with currancy conversion rates this being $159 AUD (australian) I can only assume you also get a koala bear cub included.

Narcassist of Project Runway

Skyrocketing to a new level of loathing, Santino's glorified talent is starting to bite him in the ass. Artist or not we are no longer fooled by your hippy dippy unicorn fantasy shirts and technical design knowledge. When really all you do is overwhelm a bright color with a bunch of trim and edging and ruffle. You are a narcassistic rat! Further proof is this cess-pool of elevated ego and self-congratulations of a BLOG. Who else expresses more surprise by not winning every subsequent contest after your first success??? Get over yourself! Do us all a favor, shave off the greasy locks, drop the faux spiritualism and GROW UP (no one bitches behind everyone's back like a high school girl like santino)
Definitely the new favorite to hate, santino has obviously blipped on the producer's ratings eye since he has garnered much more attention than Zulema in the last episode (her revolting piece of beige crap hardly got any airtime for us to critique)I am beginning to side with jennifers theory that she needs to hang around since she is the only black person on the show (since when has fashion been PC??) But if she keeps making her models do retarded shit like carry a doll's purse down the runway, i can only hope that she kicks herself off.
It was quite a blow to see our designated cutie, Raymundo being booted from the runway (i will not lie and say he didnt have it coming since he totally fucked up that last challenge).He will be missed none the less There was also the unexpected Gem of Kara emerging as a bumbling idiotic mess! She stands accused of making the poor Toys R US janitor help her retrieve a goddamn barbie hat that SHE lost down an escalator-BUY a NEW ONE you CHEAP BITCH!
It was also rather amazing to see nature in al her glory while Andrea's balls finally dropped and he got over the embarraasing voice cracking moments of last week and he became a MAN! Cheers to him for fighting back to those cackling witches of a panel.
I am totally in a state of earger anticipation for next week's episodes and really really hoping that guadalupe or Marla are the next to get the auf wiedersehen axe!

The Infamous Jennifer

UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE you make an Oskar a best Friend and they SHIT all over YOU! I am soo annoyed with you. You have pushed the bounds of friendship TOO FAR. How dare you WHINE about the placement of Your link on my blog and then have the GALL to point out that Jerry wasnt on there yet. Well SOOOOORRRY that i didnt make your boyfriends site my first priority. I realize that it isnt entirely your fault (you being a peahead and all) that you were unable to recognize the cleverness behind putting Friend in Low Places in the LOWEST PLACE on the link list-much like the coveted back cover advertising on a magazine this was a place of HONOR! and you spat on it! JUST BE GRATEFUL YOU ARE HERE AT ALL!!! Well Miss W., you are on a TIME OUT! and while you are in the corner mourning the loss of your playtime i have changed you link from the clever Friend in Low places to INSOLENT BLANKET because that is what you ARE!!!
Internet game requiring not skill at all of the day. SQUARES
I got a 120 so far -has the atari appeal of just going faster and faster until you lose.
Update: jennifer pointed out that the second link on squirrel day was a duplicate-i have fixed it and she is btiching that it wont open but again she is a insolent peaheaded blanket so her complaints are not my concern.

And may all Your Christmases

be white. . .and leak-proof. While this is the perfect time of year for imacculate conception the rest of us ladies glad to be not-in-the-family-way or the the elderly woman who is past the days of bleeding like a stuck pig (and cannot bare to just throw away perfectly good feminine products) can celebrate with a hygenic, absorbant and spring-flower fresh scented tree. Decoration directions can be found at http://www.tamponcrafts.com. Feliz navidad

Before you Know it

you will be on level 45. HEDGEHOG CATAPULT

Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

I was all excited about pursuing a theme for today. After finding THIS little gem of a site I was down to hunt for more squirrel entertainment. I was on a roll too since i also found THIS (i would just like to point out how both of these sites are from the UK -coincidence i dont think so) And the best that the americans -who bitch about and run over squirrels ALL THE TIME -could come up with is THIS.
My tolerence for missing links and *gasp* educational sites quickly evaporated so enjoy the small squirrel bounty i present to you today.
STOP THE PRESSES! there is a last minute enrty for squirrel day. thank god for this crazy woman of florida for taking the time to abuse a homeless squirrel in THIS manner.
Since i feel i should get some recognition for my efforts-Text Twist score of 301,820 today. I am equally pleased and embarrassed by this.

Am I worth it?

Just who do i think i am spending over $100 on a pair of jeans??? What the hell for man??? I had just reached my fuck-it all point with trying on jeans when i went into the Lucky store. But irregardless they are going back-fit or not i just dont love them and that is what my wardrobe is based on. LOVE!!! besides i totally got into my gap jeans that have previously been way to tight to sit at a computer and still breath properly in. All those damn yoga classes and ten min tred mill miles are finally paying off. However i think the Jack-in-the-box large curly fry was not the optimal way to celebrate this.
Spent most of this weekend in an exhausted state. Went out to some Tiki-esque bar in san jose (have all ready forgotten the name) with Jennifer, janessa and Jerry. Isnt that a sign of being old-when you think the music in the bar is too loud because i am OLD now. An extra special bonus for this week-i have to check each day to see if i am going to be pulled in for jury duty-but since i totally forgot to send in the paper saying i was available i may not go even if my number comes up. How is that for civic duty!

More Fun & Games

Apparently i was born 6 months too late. According to this I am really a janurary not a June. This hurts since i love having my birthday along with all my friends in the summer however the evidence cannot be denied i am soo soo the description.
Loyal (just try and get rid of me)
Social (hecks yes to a martini)
Logical (cuz i said so thats why)
Easily jealous (says who???)
Loves children (well yeah but i am working on getting over this)
Rather reserved (step off!)
Highly attentive (I saw that!!)
Likes to criticize (CHUH)
Needs close friends (going to the mall alone sucks sometimes)
Ambitious and serious (stat!)
Smart, neat and organized (i am SMRT)
Hardworking and productive
Loves to teach and be taught (questionable)
Quiet unless excited or tensed (TOTALLY!)
Sensitive and has deep thoughts (why is the sky blue?)
Knows how to make others happy (wanna popsicle?)
Searches for the greatest romance (romeo romeo where for ought thou romeo?)
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds (so freakin true! achoo!)
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses (and i find them too!)

I will just appease myself with the fact that this label of January with these chracteristics is totally arbitrary. I am a Cancer to the bone!!!
Text Twist score for the day 225,730

Love at First Site

The greatest thing i have seen all day! click here now!

i give up

i have exhausted myself searching for the dress heidi klum was strutting on the project runway runway with. It was just such a short hideous pink mess of a cinched in sack, I felt that everyone who wasnt a fan would be able to appreciate the bad fashion that is judging bad fashion. The Klum is uber pregnant in the early episodes so it is rather hilarious how they refuse to give her more material to cloth herself than when she is her normal non-pregers self. I would also like to point out that a google image search for baby seals delivers just as many pics of a heidi klum in a swimsuit as photos of gwenyth paltrow and her baby. Makes no sense to me but the internet has decided there is a correlation and one should never argue with teh interweb.
Despite the distraction of giant belly buttons popping out, there were some other highlights to last nights episodes. There was much disappointment when Heidi Standridge (whiny ass sugar mouthed pipshit) got sent packing on the first episode. She was the unanimous selection as the designated bag of trash for us to mock and hate for season. However bravo expertly balanced the void of a wendy pepper with Zulema. Her hair alone is grounds for elimination. Because of the unwarranted display of tears and since we are cold-hearted bithces we have also decided to place Andre on a probation-teetering on the line of we can't stand you. And becuase we are also terribly shallow we have decided to love and cherish Raymundo (too too too adorable to be straight of course) It is rather obvious that this season has a lot more people that actually know how to design and sew however they are plenty of losers waiting to be given the Klum Auf Wiedersehen.

The Hair Wars

Zulema or Wendy?? I see no difference.

MAGICAL

I am in euphoria right now. "Hold me kiss me thrill me" by U2 is playing on the radio right now and despite the constant static, I am loving it! or maybe i am just in a rare state of bliss since i get to take off from work at 2??? (but ugh it is for a dentist appt) or maybe it is because of the sweet memories of the first batman movie coming to mind because Michael Keaton has lived in my heart as batman to this day. . . either way i will try not to question the joy out of it.

Crap it is December all ready. . .

There is just no hiding from it when you go to leave for work and find a layer of frost and ice on your car. made excellent use of my gym card scrapping it all off.
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY goes out to my brother JIMMY. SInce he is a big kid the pokemon is for him. JIMICHU i choose YOU! (as the biggest stinky-butt i know hee heee hee one year older and yet our jokes are as juvenile as ever)
Things have been so bizarre-I am actually having to do work and shizz today so this is going to be short and sweeet.
Tomorrow the new season of Project Runway starts. Am beyond thrilled and am making brownies sundaes for all my friends to lure them over to my house and to get everyone hyped up on sugar to watch and judge and squeal with delight at the new class of bitches with no taste/style/shame. Have to get my jollies where i can.
Really really important announcement -yesterday i ran a 10 min mile at the gym-most impressive for a slug like me. Dont know how i did it but i thing the gynormous wedgie i had was a big aide in getting me to move.

Judgment Day

As i sit here in my igloo of an office i am pondering the fashion faux pas i struggle with on a regular basis. While it is usually fairly mild like chipped nailpolish, visible bra straps and wrinkled shirts (since i refuse to iron), today i have reached a new low. I think i have crossed over the line. The line that determines just how big a hole in the crotch of my jeans is appropriate for work. Like porn, this is really hard to define but you know it when you see it. I have been trying to buy new jeans for months now and it turns out that i am the perfect size 11 because all the stores sell too-tight 10s and way too loose 12s. However even though i sit here as a bit of a fashion victim today that will not stop fashion finger pointing that has become my weekly habit.

tailor made

it is shiny, tiny and fits just right! Who needs under wear when the clever design of this skirt gives the impression of g-strings sticking out??? The animal print gives the impression that you are on the prowl for a GOOD TIME! There just isn't a reason not to own this set. Imagine how slutty that top would be with jeans and the bottom is begging to paired with a gold sequined tube top. A staple you will love and wear for live and pass onto your bastard children!

step off

White hot for winter, don't miss out on these clearance darlings! Do not be concerned that you don't have the man cankles to pull off these shoes. It is all in the attitude!!! True a ghetto dated butterfly tattoo does draw an added amount of lust and attention, nothing that a good sharpie cant accomplish as well. and since they are white, goes with EVERYTHING in your closet!!!

lets get stupid

So tempting to make an entire outfit out of one brand but that is just not realistic. No one wants to pin their entire "look" on the clearance rack of Macys. So One sweet sweet J. Lo item that has twice as much style as anything else since it is REVERSIBLE!!! like classy, reversible has an inherant quality that totally belies the word used to describe it. When presented with two options in the same item the best choice is always Neither! but same just cannot resist the lure of being lame and emal at the same time! Fur Real (rabbit) for the For REAL Grrrl only $160!

Classic

Proof that fashion is really an investment. The inagural coat from the premier fashion friday has found a mate at last! During the stormy weather of late it is the perfect time to bring some rainbow into your life!

Time for solid foods

Wooot ***first blog milestone ***6 months of Not Enough Purple!
Let us take a moment to reflect on all the good times of the past -the laughs, the witty comments, the malicious rage, the poor spelling, and inconsistent capitalizations of the letter i. Ahh good wholesome fun. Despite my fickle nature, pesimistic attitude and general laziness, this blog is still churning out rants and a brutal dialouge of my interests. So let us raise a glass to the real reason this blog is holding on by its fingernails, my awesome amount of downtime and internet access at my current shit job. So here's to you, on-site out-source contractor! CHEERS!
Though not often pretty, NotEnoughPurple is a great conversation piece. Pick one up for everyone one your list this holiday season.