Happy Mardi Gras

I recently got to watch all of True Life: I am a competative eater (MTV makes my WEEKENDS!) after seeing people shovel down 15+ pounds of food in one sitting (truly heroic) I feel inspired to commerate the Fatness of Fat Tuesday by eating non-stop today. Seriously everything looks like food today.

They're called Models for a Reason

Oh jesus -jesus christ just because you wear clothes does not make you an expert. Were not we all just soo charmed with Heidi Klum on Project Runway. her quirky humor and accent and odd German ways but this just goes to show you why there are designers and there are models and ne'er the two shall meet.

"The 2005 "Birkenstock styled by Heidi Klum" collection is more vibrant and sparkly than ever, complete with glittering effects, shimmering colors and striking wildlife motifs. These new styles are extremely well-made, based on original Birkenstock models, styled with a great deal of care and creativity, resulting in new styles that are both subtle and beguiling."

BIRKENSTOCKS!!!!!! by HEIDI KLUM??? can it be any more HORRIBLE???



I am not sure if it is the metallic gold that is subtle and the lil hearts are beguiling. Maybe it is gold = beguiling and hearts = subtle?? Would you say even $320 worth of subtle and beguiling shoe??? cuz that is what they are asking for these. As if you couldnt just buy a pair off of QVC and spray paint them (oh god did i actually just encorage home-glamourizing birkenstocks? ohgawd!)



Can you IMAGINE the look on the other middle-aged women's faces when you strut into the local pool this summer in your sassy skirted print swimsuit and these sparkly bits of whimsy on your feet?? Who cares if the kids are little shits failing out of elementary school and your husband has a yen for the new lawnboy. There will be RHINESTONES on your SHOES! FANTABULOUS! Don't forget your straw hat with ribbon-you can't really afford MORE wrinkles now can you???



"A lace-up half boot with striking animal motifs. This canvas boot is a sure eye catcher. Wear this shoe with bootleg flipped up or folded down." que versatile!

$600. $600 for a pair of converse your preschooler would want. SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! WTF!!!
If you are up for more punishment the entire collection can be seen HERE.
I can hardly wait until the 2006 line.
Seriously do we need more proof that Heidi wouldnt be able to cut it on her own show?? Imagine what the TIM GUNN would say???

AAAAA INTRUDERS!

I really cant imagine a better way to start the week then by discovering that someone was in my office over the weekend. Some pervy creepy asshole went through my stuff and used my lotion. in such an excessive amount that my mouse was crusted in it and my mousepad is covered in stains that werent there when i left friday. How repulsive is that?!?!?! My favorite bit is that this asshole was soo stealthy as to leave the bottle out on the desk so i would know right away that my office has been invaded by a stranger. Well guess what is now in the trash can?? gah sooo annoyed and disgusted that someone who works at sun would do this. FUCKERS.

What a dilemma

Am i willing to kill someone for this or would i give up my first born child??
either way i know i cant afford it through the conventional monetary means.
To appease the large hole in my soul that is left by the "no way in hell will i ever get this even though i totally deserve for being such an awesome person" ring reality, i think i am going to buy this:



Why? because it will make me happy and according to the desciption: the dragon represents new beginnings and opportunities; phoenix symbolizes positive perception and recognition; and the tiger helps with completing projects and to me that is totally worth $35!

What's The Rush?

I am hard pressed to say which is slower today: This snail or my internet server. But i can say i wouldnt carry any remorse if i squashed either underneath my shoe.
(No seriously i have been trying to get into Blogger and get this pic- has taken me all morning to load shit.)
But in happier news-
THANK GOD i finally remembered to bring in cds it has been a rather amusing experiment listening to all the old dusty cds in my collection. Here are this weeks picks:
Rock steady by No Doubt
Devils & Dust by Bruce Springsteen
The Transplants
Use Your Illusion II by Guns N roses (been rocking this one all morning)
Jay Z and Linkin Park
Traveling Without Moving by Jamiroquai

Jennifer and I totally conquered the 10 taco bell taco challenge last night. We both ate 5. We thought it was going to be absolutely outlandish to get the 10 pack but Really pretty damn easy actually. Go Us. Since we both blew of the gym last night why not really blow it by eating a bunch of fast food???

So last night was the Project Runway reunion which really left me with more questions than answers.
1) Why didn't John plug TrimSpa as his method of weight loss in order to get a huge commercial deal like Anna Nicole? (seriously he dropped a ton of weight!)
2) What drug(s) was Guadalupe smoking, popping, snorting, huffing, injecting before the show?
3) Why where Nina and Michael Kors not invited??? (could it possibly be that this dumbass reunion was pure filler concieved after they signed their series contract for this show??)
4)Why does Danial Franco insists on being a total pantywaist pansy?

Next week is all about the final 3 and the making of their runway collections. Can only hope that Santino calls in Andrae to give him inspiration for more Tim Gunn impressions.

I also watched Project Jay last night. This was orginally supposed to be its own mini series but from the show last night it became very obvious that Jay just cant carry his own show and there just wasnt enough content to fill more than one show. I did think it was really poor taste for Heidi Klum to ask Jay to design her Emmy dress and then totally back out on him. Boo Heidi BOOOOO! Was nice to see a lot of the first season designers pop up in various places. Glad everyone is still in the game so to speak.

So obviously this internet thing sucks (has taken more 2+ hours to get this shit up) and i have no patience so i am not sure how regular posting will be for a bit. Dont be distraught. Look at this as an excellant oppertunity to reflect and read the notenoughpurple archives ;) Trust me there are some gems in there!

I also lack willpower

Since i cant seem to stop posting these.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Sub Dragon Your Superpower is Extra-dimensional Your Weakness is Airsickness Your Weapon is Your Electro Bullets Your Mode of Transportation is Hovercraft

What's your Superhero Name?

I really need to stop. . .

but i am just finding out soo much about myself on blogthings!

You Were a Praying Mantis

You have the still power of a legendary warrior. You are able to manipulate time - or at least, the perception of it.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Why i dont work for Crayola

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

wasted potential

Click to enlarge Pic.


i feel the same way! Check out more at Postsecrets.blogspot.com

Stupid stupid stupid

Aaargh! I totally forgot to bring in more cds to work. I took all of them home on Friday since one can only listen to the Purple Rain soundtrack sooo many times a day. It was one thing to forget to bring them in yesterday since it was a holiday weekend and all. But after a full day of suffering through with the only 2 asinine stations with minimal static that I get at work. I cannot believe I FORGOT to bring cds in AGAIN today!!! I NEED cds to get me through the day without wanting to throw a fist through my wall (seriously there are way too many sleep train commercials on the radio these days) I am really concerned for myself -not sure I can handle another day without decent music.

Proper Popcorn Protocol

no joke this is an email i just got at work.

At approximately 2pm today the *** fire alarm sounded. The cause: Burnt popcorn.
This was the second time in a month that *** has experienced a "popcorn" alarm. Once again the entire building was evacuated. Employees had to wait outside as Facilities and the Fire Department determined the cause of the smoke, and reset the alarm panel.
This is yet another reminder that popcorn should NEVER be left to pop unattended. It is a very bad practice to start popcorn, and then leave to use the restroom, talk to a co-worker, make a phone call, etc.
If you make popcorn, please monitor it.
If it does start to burn, remove it from the microwave, and take it outside, so that the smoke will not set off an alarm.
If the alarm does start to sound, please evacuate, and then inform Facilities, Security, or the Fire Department (all should be reporting to the scene) that the source of the alarm is popcorn. This will make the reset process go quicker, and the length of time that employees need to stand outside will be less.
Everybody's cooperation is needed, and very much appreciated.
Thanks!

I just love moments when engineers are the stupidest people in the world.

Hello.

If i was a cat this is what my fat and sassy self would look like doing yoga. scarily accurate representation really. Am feeling especially lardy since i had nachos de mondo burrito. Am burping up the deliciousness as i type even. (100% pure lady that is what i am!)
This weekend was prety damn great. did some drinking, some shopping, some napping, some frisbee-ing, some eating, some reading, some hanging out with jimmy and carol, some gymming, some dancing, some cleaning, some driving, some thinking, some drawing, and absolutely no olympic watching. Couldnt ask for much more than that.

Got a new pair of sneaks. am pretty stocked about THEM.
I had a great experience at Nordstrom -the saleswoman kept asking me if i needed a bigger size (3 times) even when i had them on my feet. which they fit. just fine. thank you very much.

Check out THIS blog. A much much better fashion site than i could ever hope to be.

If you have been anywhere near a radio lately i am sure you have heard about the guy who kidnapped his wife and had this ridiculous wife contract. HERE it is on the smoking gun. Soooo messed up!

WELCOME HOME REGINA!

Tidying up before the Holiday

I am rather behind in sharing a bunch of stuff i have bookmarked during the week. Figured now would be an excellent time. Hope everyone has a great President's day weekend despite the wind and rain.

Blog about stuff made out of paper. rather charming really.

NSFW funny jokes and crap you like to read when you have five miutes to waste HERE.

Odd couples of the furry kind HERE.

ohhhh THE CUTENESS!

This LINK is here since it made me think of my friend KT.

Love the idea of THIS.

And i totally wish that this came in the form that i could upload onto my sidebar. Le sigh.



Pretty Yes? Pretty No?
i am trying to make up my mind if this $200 dress from anthropologie is cute or not.



I soo hope everyone out there will tune into the new FX show "Black. White." starting on March 8th. The premise is changing the appearence of black and white people to the opposite through make-up and to see how they adapt to the change. Gasp can these be some actual intelligent show on TV????

TOTAL SPOILER

Here is the link for the Olympus Fashion Week shows by Kara, Daniel, Santino and Chloe. Notice my restraint in not posting any pics from the show in case you have an ounce of willpoewr and want to wait for the final episode.
I am obviously made out of weaker stuff since i found it impossible NOT TO. I LOOOOOOVED with all my SOUL chloes's collection!! i sooo want her to WIN now.

She's a Pepper

So this last episode of Project Runway has definitely shown that the final four were FRIED! The marathon race that is this show has taken its toll on tempers and creativity. I am really happy with the final 3 though. Cant wait to see their runway shows!



I was actually surprised that Iman choose this to wear. It didnt seem as if any of the judges were really into it. Surprise Surpirse -now if only they got to dress David Bowie (how much would that KICK ASS?!?!?)



Why WHy WHy did you not take the TIM GUNN to heart??? He knows a bad seam when he sees one. ANd this was the mother of all bad seams. Sigh but at least you know how to hem a straight line Chloe.




The Kors had it totally right when he said this has become a joke. Was such a gorgeous dress before the pilettes were added. Who knew impulse control was part of fashion design.



Oh my god i almost had a litter of kittens when Chloe and Kara were the last two on the runway last night. If Kara pulled a Wendy Pepper and got her crappy ass into the finals i was going to RAGE. Thankfully the judges (producers) werent smoking any hard drugs last night.

Next week is going to be the reunion bitch fest of all the designers. AM soo looking forward to seeing cutie raymundo again! Wonder who will start crying first -Nick or Kara???

One Day at a Time

I wonder what customer finally but this store owner over the edge and forced this sign to be posted. I bet it involved a beer gut and rotten teeth.
Stuff i found amusing today:
The tattooed Banana
Badly Drawn Cats
Stuff on My Cat

Sorry about the shortness but all my creativity was used up writing Valentines on whacked out Japanese stationary.
Stay tuned for Project Runway goodness tomorrow and more updates in my academic life. ;)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Oh dont look so perturbed Valentine Barbie. Let your Ken/Blaine/Ken show you how much you fill my heart with knitted joy!
OHHH i have GIFTS for YOU!!! isnt that the point of this holiday? to show my deep affection and devotion to you through wanton purchasing and elaborate romantic cliches? To start the overzealous blantant display of affection for you. I shall pick you up in my white horse drawn coach.



Once settled i will shower your with expensive and rare Safeway Roses.



And the finest of stuffed toys (only $9.99 with purchase of 4 hallmark cards)



I will serenade you with a megamix of the greatest love songs by Def Leopard while you nibble delicately on chocolates and toss the nasty cream filled ones onto the passing streets.



Love is like a bomb, baby, c’mon get it on
Livin’ like a lover with a red hot thong
Lookin’ like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?

Razzle ’n’ a dazzle ’n’ a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah
Hey!
C’mon

Take a bottle
Shake it up
Break the bubble
Break it up

(pour some sugar on me)
Ooh, in the name of love
(pour some sugar on me)
C’mon fire me up
(pour your sugar on me)
Oh, I can’t get enough

I’m hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet yeah

(and we all know what a powerful singing voice i have -not to mention an 8 octave range like Mariah Carrey)


Just as i am fading out of the last chorus, We shall arrive at our enchanted Denny's full of ambiance and romance.



I will whisk you away to a corner booth and order us the appetizer sampler to split over the finest house white available ( i believe they pronounce it Scheven Upe).

Once i return you to your doorstep and a light peck is placed on both your cheeks I will place my heart in your hands.




And i mean every Red dye #6 word! never doubt my love Barbie, NEVER!
XOXOXO Laura

Easy Bein Green

too cute not to share. And maybe this will convince oskar to take a pic of her adorable kermie to share as well. For more Kermit travels for HERE.
Was a pretty great weekend, the weather was amazing. (neener neener neener to all those caught in the east coast snow blizzards) . Had a fun good bye party for Arrested Development at Jennifers on Friday. SO very bittersweet but some of the best beef tips i have ever had! Saturday i did laundry and went salsa dancing with Carol and Enrique (at Roccapulco) was a lot of fun. especially the part where i told most of the guys i danced with that i live in Nevada. No harm No foul. ;)
I spent most of my work day doing my homework for class on Weds so didnt have to time to cultivate a nice list of internet fun and crap for y'all. 'sides its monday.

Target vs Runway

In a bold move to attract more designer talent to the racks, Target has kicked off this GO internation program which features some total unknown in the massive buy everything now stores of target. Luella is the first guinea pig for this campaign. I happened to witness first hand the "collection" at the Targe`t and i found it basically horrible. So i went searching for what Luella has greated that would have gained the interest of Target. Apparently interest like a car wreck scene is good enough for the retail store.

Blue Jacket:
Runway


Target:


Runway jacket made of plastic. yet the one for target is made from Suede. Does this seem a little bass-assward to anyone else???

Strapless dress in an ugly plaid
Target version


for some reason this is being marketed as a Prom Dress. I hadnt even realized the plight of the poor highland lass unable to fully express herself at a formal function.



A big bow and a pocket! that is DESIGNER!


Ride 'em and Rope 'em!
It is time to decide what kind of woman you are.



The type that like to be submissive and tied up in lasso?



Or the one who wears the boots in the realtionship??

ohh the Suspen(ce)ders



Is the the new sport bra and overall combo???



Apparently all the Target Mannequinns are mormon and weren't willing to slut it up like the runway whores. . .i mean models are.

All in all Target has definitely proven you dont need to pay high prices for runway looks. THe looks though have yet to prove immune to finger pointing and muffled laughter by the general public.
If you think Target bashing is blashpemy. Hop on over to Slave to Target.

If you want something done right. . .

Do it yourself. I consider Santino quite the traitor for not leaving Kara alone to crash and burn on this challenge. Everything the judges liked was basically his insistance that she do.



Kara only contribution was getting him to shave. well wait i guess that is reason enough to be kept on the show. But fuck stop with the sobs and pity parties all ready kara.



sucky sucky $5 dollar. Was it really Chloe's dream make-over to be turned into a 2-bit whore? What a wasted freebie Daniel.



I thought this actually looked quite good when Daniel was actually walking in it. The hair was Miami Vice-tacular!!! But Nick totally effed up on the fabric choice. which he has done. before. a lot. still sorry to see ya go.



From Kara to brautwurst way to go Santino. Cuz every woman wants to be a squeezed sausage.
Now i dont remember who the guest judge was but how he can even be related to the fashion field and consider the JUMPSUIT flattering is beyond me. Actually i think i now know who does the buying for Newport News



What a cake walk to pick the winner of this challange. The only garment that looked good and was sewn well. Chloe def deserved to win since she was able to transfer her skill to the new frontier of mens wear.
The only moment that was truly amusing was the appearence of Loreal Make-up artist for the make-over consultations. Collier Strong .You are not fooling anyone into believeing that is your real name. totally sounds like the pretensious name a 80 yr old woman would give her lapdog.
Gone but not forgotten- Emmett has his own store! well soon anyway.

PUh-leez VOTE!

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Bigger = More Popular

Kinda cool Word Cloud. only has words from the post shown on the current page but still neat. get one HERE.

Try and keep up

Lots to cover so forgive the lack of a clear and concise thesis statement in today's post. Hope the color coding helps.




Isn't Ziyi Zhang just a tall drink of water??? couldnt resist this pic of her at the SAG awards. Other than me loving her dress there is no reason for this since i have not seen Memoirs of a Geisha nor have any intention of doing so.

I have my second interior design class starting tonight. Hope i can get away with doing any homework while i am at my day job. dont want to be spoiling my wild nights of TP-ing houses, illegal street racing and egging cop cars with studying.

I was trying to get interested in ANYTHING from fashion week but that just wasn't happening.

Tonight is a new LOST and *** PROJECT RUNWAY****. THe challenge: design an outfit for one of the other designers. Not just any outfit but a MAKEOVER!!!



I think i am an autumn stuck in the body of a spring.

so hope Nick gets put in a prom dress with tiara and chloe in head to toe red pleather.
Found THIS site the other day and was just blown away by the number of screen pics from the show. Not to mention the other great trash talk content.



Totally willing to KILL for this light. The coolest thing since Danny Zucco.

YOU: How is the drawing going, Laura?
ME: pretty damn great. thanks for asking!

Hope you all have noticed the email for not enought purple on the right. and will take advantage of it like a drunk sorority girl on roofies.

stick figure

So in an effort to better myself and not incite laughter when i need to draw something resembling anything, i have been making my way through Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. Umm yeah well after a couple of preliminary sketches (my befores if you will) i can only get better. I am onto the next section covering handwriting. Not surprising i write as well as i draw (crappy crappy illegible crap). But i should really get down that large loopy scrawl before i am famous and will be stopped every 2 feet in public to deface some scrap of bubble gum wrapper with my signature. In the meantime i see much pain and misery in my drawing tutorials. Which will add nicely to the tortured artist soul i need to have amble passion and angst in my artistic future. wish me luck!

Cuz you know i like stuff with my name on it

Monday maintenance

Much like an aging dame, when a blog hits a certain mark it is time to do some updates and some nips and a couple of tucks. I think i am going to take down the comment link since no one every leaves any. In its place i have tacked up a email address for the 3 people reading this that dont actually have my real one. Dont want you to feel you cant send you questions concerns constructive critisism somewhere. well that you can send all that crap straight to hell cuz i dont care. But for all praise, accolades, drinking toasts and photos of you in purple sweaters knitted by your grandmother please send those to notenoughpurple@gmail.com. I am also going to TRY and put all the links from the 100 links onto this site and shut down the other page. cant carry such weight around on these old blog's arthritic knees anymore. ;)

BABY!

big congrats to kt on her brand new nephew Alex.

and a big congrats to me for remembering to bring in my prince and the revolution cd to work!

and if you happened to catch the ginormous pic of Carol with her peek-a-poohs consider yourself lucky since it has been deleted since no one wants to be that up close and personal with her arm hair.
I got my first "A" in interior decorating this weekend. SInce the only requirements were to show up both days i totally killed it! Was also a great way to get out of superbowl parties. have gotten the bug so am now registered for the next class and the career forum. wooot! anyone need a color consult? furniture rearrangement?? house remodel??? well dont ask me since i am still totally unqualified. ;)

Just here to help

I cannot tell you the number of letters, emails and dirty phone messages i get from desperate readers needing help with avoiding bear attacks. Since this is quickly rising to the state of national panic, i feel i should address this issue once and for all. Thanks to the NPCA (national parks conservation association) for supplying several tips we can all use, not just in instances of bear attacks, but in our everyday lives as well.

The NPCA recommends: Always make your presence known. Avoid surprising a bear. Make plenty of noise near dense vegetation or areas of limited visibility.

What could be louder than this???





Another Tip: Carry pepper spray and keep it within easy reach. Know how to use it.
Unsure how to integrate pepper spray into an outfit while still looking sharp??



The puffs and pouches of this skirt mean you can carry enough pepper spray for the entire girl scout troop with ease!

Now nothing will bring a bear a running like the scent of food. Duh! so lets just be extra cautious and avoid eating all together. lets call this the safety diet.

Now if the bear is even attracted to the smell of your hours old toothpaste and makes a pass. let's remember
# If the bear continues to approach you, it is most likely trying to identify what you are. Remain calm. A standing bear is usually curious, not threatening.
# Identify yourself by talking in a normal voice.

for easy id, just clip this onto a homemade lanyard just in case you are scared speechless by large furry wildlife. dont want a case of the wrong identity ending in your death.




If you happen to run into one of those ignorant illeterate backcountry bears um well it was nice knowing you.

So if you are still alive at this point but see the bear getting that special gleam in its eye that says, "you look tasty" the next step is aggression and intimidation. wave you arms, raise your voice and try and look bigger than you are.



This jacket does double duty. Not only does it put untold bulk on you body without compromising the safety diet, it is also so damn hideous it will be sure to throw you into a total hysterical screaming fit.

Now if you happen to notice that the bear coming at you is a black bear(you can tell this by all the black fur it is covered in) i swear to god the NPCA says "to fight back vigorously. Throw stones."
If you havent already done so definitely hurl these at it fast and furiously!



With this bear unfriendly attire, all your future hikes and zoo trips are sure to go like gangbusters!
A big thank you goes out to the NPCA for all their helpful tips
and to Nordstrom.com for providing our wilderness outfit